EuroTrip: Day 19-Cruise Day at Sea

Sometime in the night we switched into the next time zone, but mom and I on our WiFi connection had no idea. I slept awfully, I don’t know if it was just because it was the ship swaying some in the sea, or if it was my mind not allowing me to shut it down since it knew it didn’t have to consider things like train schedules and taxis and the logistics of anything. Either way, at 3 something in the morning, I was thankful for the time difference because Nana was up (it was like 8-9pm Lolol) and chatted with me until I finally got sleepy.

I slept until what I thought was 10am, Mom did too.. and then I realized that it was actually 11am with the time change, which only showed up on the cruise app. I had to manually go in and change the time on my phone.. I guess with my phone being on airplane mode + WiFi only, it wouldn’t swap over automatically.

Because of the time, we missed breakfast.. so we had pasta for breakfast instead at the buffet style restaurant by the pool. I didn’t mind it at all, mom hated it Lolol. We changed and made our way to the pool to sunbathe and swim. The water was still pretty chilly, but we made the best of it.

I started reading a new book, “Get Out of Your Head,” by Jennie Allen. I chose this book on purpose and have been waiting for it to “arrive” on the free Libby app, because I do think I could benefit from learning how to stop my toxic thought spirals. I tend to always consider the worst case scenario, almost like if I think of the worst that could happen, and it doesn’t-then yay! But if it does, my head has already had time to prepare for it so maybe it won’t hurt so bad? It’s definitely a defense mechanism that serves a purpose sometimes, but is usually not a benefit to my well-being.

This way of thinking is definitely NOT helpful in my social life, since I naturally just think anyone and everyone is probably setting me up, or pranking me, or intentionally wanting to hurt me (which sounds crazy as hell when I type that out, but when you’re in a spiral tell me how easy it is to not believe the thoughts your own brain comes up with). It does however come in handy for my work as an ICU nurse.. if I think of all the bad things that could go wrong, I can think of ways to fix A, B, and C when they happen-and then I can think of what to can do now to prevent A, B, and C from ever happening to begin with.. prevention over reaction.

In regular old life, though, it causes problems because I somehow start believing that A, B, and C are probably happening already, or they’re definitely going to happen, and then I set myself up for worry and anxiety over something that probably won’t ever happen-and it affects my mood and how I react to normal things.. and then social media has you tearing down a rabbit hole of comparison and negative thoughts. It’s like always waiting for the other shoe to drop, like I don’t deserve the good things when they’re happening, so I’m waiting for the “reality” to show me I was dumb all along for thinking that I did.. and then that turns into worrying about creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Sheesh, I know it’s TMI, but you’re the one reading this and can choose not to.. hahaha, plus it’s therapeutic for me to type it out.. to see my thought processes.

Anyway, this book so far has had some insight, but I didn’t expect it to be so religion based. I was wanting “when this happens, try this, or do that..” instead I’m reading, “when this happens, lean into God.” Umm-ok.. but like.. how? It makes me think of the episode of Schitt’s Creek where Moira keeps telling David to “fold in the cheese..” if you haven’t seen it, you should Google it.. it’s hysterical. And again I ask, “how?!”

Anywho-a few Prosecco’s and mixed drinks later, I didn’t need to think about spiraling thoughts anymore since I wasn’t having any thoughts at all. Lol we laid out and swam until almost 6pm! It was fantastic! After showering and getting ready for dinner, we went to our specified dining room. They set us at a 2 person table, sandwiched between 2 other 2 person tables. So, it was wayyyy too close to other people. So much so that we had no choice but to hear other people’s conversations and could barely hear each other.

Either way, the food was nice so we made it work. After dinner I ran on the treadmill and then walked around the upper deck until I got my 10k steps for the day (gotta love garmin points for motivation). Because of our lack of sleep last night, we’re both laying in bed watching a movie with our eyelids drooping. I think we’ll sleep much better tonight! We have our first excursion tomorrow, I’m excited 🙂 goodnight y’all!